Friends
Friends have always been an integral role in anyone’s life. For most they are that “brother from another mother” or “sister from another mister” but when you say “I do” your spouse now fills that role and your friends have to respect that. You have to be careful of what you share with them and the environments you go with them moving forward. You might say something in an angered moment that you might let go of before they are willing to and bring it up the next time you feel you need to vent. As far as environments, you have to discuss with your spouse your plans. I know it sounds weird but if your spouse isn’t comfortable with you going to certain places then is what is is. There has to be foundational understandings before going in the marriage and abided by during the marriage. Your friends might give you a little backlash but you must protect your spouse at all times and your friends should respect your spouse and your marriage at all times.
Finances
Your money is no longer your own. In our early episode “My Money vs. Our Money” we discuss the struggle of combining our money into joints accounts. There was a lot of past hurts and trauma that contributed to the reasons why we waited so long but we had to start looking at ourselves as one unit. No more big purchases without consulting the other, limits were put into place, and goals made. Surprisingly when we did it God’s way we’ve ended up with more money! Granted there was a lot of trial and error until we got it right but creating a budget TOGETHER and setting family goals gave us an outline.
Spiritual life
This one can be tough one. When you look into your bible study time or prayer life its hard to think about being that vulnerable with anyone. Whether it is fear of what your spouse will think of you for the way you pray or what you are praying for or maybe they have a deeper relationship. Either way this can be an opportunity for growth for both. Your spouse should support your growth with Christ not hinder it. Although you should continue to pray individually, try setting a time each day to pray WITH your spouse or just do a devotional and watch the dynamic of your marriage change.
Remember marriage isn’t a place of hinderance its a place of vulnerability and growth.