It’s easy to withdraw yourself from an argument with your partner. You may even be doing it unconsciously if you find yourself overwhelmed. However, research has found that shutting down on your spouse can be extremely unhealthy for your relationship. Let’s discuss four reasons why –
- You are impeding the growth of your relationship – When you refuse to engage with your partner, you are basically refusing to assess your own actions any further. You are leaving no scope for growth, for you or the relationship. Conflicts crop up in every relationship, and the stakeholders of the relationship must learn how to resolve these conflicts instead of ignoring them.
- You are making your partner question their self-worth – Partners subject to “stonewalling” or the practice of being shut down upon on feel humiliated and invalidated. They are confused and hurt at having had communication from them rejected/ignored. It makes them feel inferior and judge their value in your relationship.
- You are adding to miscommunication – Nothing makes an argument worse than the silent treatment. If you shut down during an argument, you are not expressing your thoughts and feelings any longer. So, the other person has no idea about your standpoint and jumps to unfounded conclusions of their own.
- You are being a bully – Plain and simple. You are trying to make your partner bow down to your wishes by behaving passive-aggressively. It is not becoming of a mature adult to act like this, and you must realize this.
The next time you and your partner get into an argument, don’t shut down on your partner. Instead, communicate freely and let your partner know your grievances. You will see how this not only resolves this argument more speedily but also strengthens your relationship in the long run.