The joy of getting married to someone you love makes such a difference and is a significant high. After the wedding and the honeymoon, getting down to brass tacks may be too real, but that is life.
The daily grind and drudgery can annoy you, leaving you to wonder if this is what you bargained for and whether it is worth the effort. Let us demystify whether you are a consumer or a gardener in marriage.
As a gardener
When you prune a relationship, ensuring that you are always there during the happy times and not so happy times, proves you are a gardener. To take care of a plant (likened to a bond), for instance, requires that the soil (the root of the relationship) is well nourished.
The seed grows into a sapling and finally into a robust, healthy plant. Once it does, it does not end there. The plant needs love and care so that the next lot grows up happy and healthy.
Like so in marriage, the ups and downs can get in the way of career, body, lifestyle, financial outlay, and so on, but nourishing the relationship ensures good health.
As a consumer
You have watered the plant and expect returns on your investment. When you see that there is practically too much spent, you may expect too much, even want to throw in the shovel and uproot the plant.
Complacency can set in, and before you know it, you are in a rut, or so you believe.
Unlike the gardener who whets the plant’s appetite, you expect the economy of the marriage to peak when you say so, without understanding the spouse. Looking elsewhere for a better model may play on your mind, egging you on to seek reinforcement elsewhere. The career and the bottom line are more workable than the spouse.
To balance it out
For a marriage to survive, bring out the gardener in you. You will be amazed at the return on ‘investment’ (ROI) as you yield enormous profits relationship-wise.