Hey family! As we start the year off, let’s do a little house cleaning shall we? The Bible tells us in Proverbs 18:21 that “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat of its fruits.” The silent treatment, although the mouth isn’t technically used, is also very powerful. Now we are not talking about taking some time to cool off then effectively communicating, we are talking about when you are not talking for days on end. Let’s discuss how to respond when this is happening.
- Address it– When you find your spouse starting to shut down, ask them about it. There have been times where we have pointed out when we feel one is beginning to do this in a caring manner. It allows for an open door to begin communication to express whether or not they are in a good space to discuss it or not. If not, there has to be a time set to bring the issue to the table to be discussed and handled.
- Handle it– Once a time has been set, sit down with no distractions! Put the kids to bed, leave the phones in another room, PRAY then discuss the issue. Your prayer should be to hear what your spouse has to say from a place of lack not attack and to remind you that the person in front of you is also a child of God just like you are. Listen to understand not to react. Come in with your guard down!
- Squash it– Once it has been discussed and an agreement reached LEAVE IT THERE! We know it’s hard to not bring up hurt when you are hurt but trust it will only make things worse. Just like the Father casts it into the sea of forgetfulness, so should we. Remember that the issue has been discussed, you have come to an agreement or compromise, and that should be it. If you are not happy with the agreement then work together so that both of your needs are met. If you are unable to do this on your own, seek the help of a professional mediator or counselor (can be located on our resources tab).
Now we know this can be easier said than done but challenge yourself to be better and do better. Put the flesh and pride aside and talk things through with your spouse. Remember your spouse is your gift from God that He specifically made just for you. Always trust that He cares for your spouse just as much as he cares for you and wants nothing but to see your union succeed in its purpose.
Click the link to watch the episode! Don’t Shut Down